ah, the end of another semester...

I'm so glad its coming to a close, and I'm pleased with everything I've done this semester. I feel like I've accomplished so much in the three different mediums I've invested myself in: photography, drawing, and digital media. For me, they all influence each other, benefitting my creative endeavors, and I'll certainly continue to practice all three together. I've always taken photos to make drawings from, but I've learned how to arrange still lives and create a single image with the ability to stand on its own. In making a video, however, I feel as if I'm making a moving drawing.

For this last digital critique, I showed my in-progress video, for which the critique was extremely helpful. It's been shortened and has become more focused. Although it doesn't have the 'dreamy' quality I was hoping for, I love the repetitious movements and the subtle (?) juxtapositions between the split screen. With elements like eggshells, keys, knives, water, my hands, and my mouth, the video sits on the verge of poetry and randomness. It's been especially fun learning Final Cut, as there are way more editing possibilities than iMovie. And now that I've gotten my feet wet, I'll definitely be acquiring the program and making more videos with it. Also, I want to focus more on some sound pieces. For me, sounds alone can evoke thoughts and feelings, and I think I can draw on that. (Haha, pun intented ;)

In Connie's class we had to set up a 'virtual exhibition,' such as the one we did for Leslie's class last semester. There was an option on how we could present it, by either a slideshow, website, or to actually build a small-scale model of a gallery. I, of course, chose to make another weebly site. Weebly is such an awesome, free, and simple online venue for these curatorial experiments. Please take a look!

virtual exhibitions ---> spring 10: the cathARTic fall 10: wet dreams

Next semester will be a serious change of pace, not nearly as intense, which will allow for more experiments and time for research. I'll be a teacher's assistant for drawing 1, I'll be taking the AHC Topics: Representation and Embodiment, and the Graduate Studio Seminar: Berlin.

I'm absolutely thrilled to be going back to Berlin!! Its been five years!! And its been two semesters already that I haven't taken an art history course, so I'm also excited about that (plus its Scott's class and he's an amazing professor!) I had been pretty indecisive about teaching or not, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm in Grad school right now, and I'd better not close any doors on myself. I should take advantage of all the opportunities I can get!

So now its time to relax for the holidays, but still try to make some money, finish reading some books, and work through some more ideas.

Thank you to Connie, Leslie, and Libby for an amazing semester!! I've enjoyed the inspiration and the push to make (for me) VERY exciting work!

presentations

I think it is such a fun learning experience whenever we do tech demos and teach each other something we have learned on our own. From Jennings I learned how to mask out a window(s) in Photoshop through which one or multiple videos can play after editing them in Final Cut. Ivan showed us how to apply the effect in Final Cut of desaturating everything in a video except for one or two specific colors, and Sasha introduced us to the Soundbooth program from the Adobe CS5 suite. I presented all that I had been learning about downloading bit torrents, and Ivan even suggested another site for me to look into. The main sites from my tech demo were The Pirate Bay, Utorrent, and (suggested by Ivan) Vuze.

My other presentation was about a theme in digital art not presented in chapter three of the book Digital Art by Christiane Paul. I discovered cyberformance, which is a kind of net art where a group of people gather at an online forum at a specific time to 'act out' a sort of theater script together. Different programs are employed, such as some with avatars and text-to-speech capabilities. An older example from the 90's was the Hamnet Players, started by Stuart Harris, where they used Internet Relay Chat to act out Shakespeare's play Hamlet, followed later by other plays. Other more recent and current cyberformance sites include Avatar Body Collision, Parkbench, and Upstage, which I encourage everyone to check out. I plan on participating myself, so I'll definitely post how it goes!

In other news, I was so happy to discover Maya Deren: Experimental Films is on Netflix! I've been watching it short film at a time and getting super inspired. I love that they're in black and white and how she's the main character in the surreal environments and situations she creates. I've got so much work to do over this weekend, so... I better get back to downloading torrents and getting my new video done!! And I still need to work out the sound too... I'll be using the sound editing freeware Audacity that I will be downloading right now!!

yellow!

No, not really. It's all black. I have gallery E for this week, and I somehow got it all put together successfully. My lovely helpful mother assisted me in covering the walls with black photo backdrop paper (painting the walls and then returning them to white would've been WAY too time consuming), then i built and screwed into the walls black shelves for each of the 4'x4' black on black drawings, painted the gray floor black, and DREW the fifth and sixth drawings for the instal. WHEW!! I had to spend two nights at school, during which I realized from my studio window is the BEST sunrise view ever!!

I coincidentally had my drawing critique scheduled for the Thursday I would be in the gallery, so I took full advantage of the opportunity and scheduled my advancement for the same day. It was all a very nerve wracking experience! Somehow, though, I made it through and after a GREAT critique by Scott (Professor of Art History), Connie (Professor of Painting and Drawing), and Dennis (Professor of Drawing and Printmaking,) I passed my advancement!

The room is an experience to enter. Everything is black, and I've had so many amazing different reactions to it. Someone said it felt like they just had the air sucked out of them (although that might be simply be because the small room consistently smells like fresh paint.) Someone else said it felt very theatrical, but overall, the reactions are very positive. The problem of lighting still needs to be solved... The overhead fluorescent lights are cold and sterile, although they give the indirect light that I prefer. The clamp lights with the flood and spot bulbs are nice and warm, but pointed directly at the drawings, they create bad hot spots. So my solution was to point four of them on the floor in between the six drawings, but that created the problem of people having to look through these overhead bright lights and needing a visor. What I really need to do is get not-so-strong lighting-- more ambient-- so I can point them more toward the drawings, but not be overpowering. That takes money and experimentation. Connie suggested I find a lighting professional for advice.

So, to sum up the rest of the semester (now that the hardest part is over,) I'm excited about working on more photos and my new video, and I need to prepare for a tech demo, a presentation, and a virtual exhibition. I also need to rework some of those drawings!

The worst part though, is that I'm out of money again, so I have to go work for Thanksgiving. :( Hopefully I won't need to too long after that... Most likely I will, though, so I can make it through Christmas Break. Boo to that! But this weekend I'll definitely have some fun shooting more video!!

flectures

The past three lectures I've been to have been really diverse and exhilerating. I love visiting artists!! I saw Mark Hosler talk about Negativland's projects, which is inspiring in terms of taking whats already there and mix/mashing it up and spitting it out with new meaning. But I've always felt that thats inherent with all media being forced down the American throat. It's so easy to see their underlying messages, their 'ulterior motives.'

The next was Michael Brohman who's currently showing in the UTSA Satellite Space. I absolutely enjoyed his lecture because he explained the backgrounds of each piece he showed us. And I love his work because it is extremely personal to him and he uses specifically non-traditional media, including cast iron (as opposed to bronze,) feces, roadkill, and human bones to create his sculptures. His concept is always involving a struggle between two forces (one is himself,) and using the tension it creates, he makes work that evokes your own personal struggles, (to which I can definitely relate.)

The next lecture was brought to me by Leslie, my digital tools professor, when she had the class go down to the University of the Incarnate Word to see Brandon Wiley. Super cool. He was lecturing about the internet. Aspects of the internet I didn't even know existed. His goal is to fix the internet I didn't even know was broken! Apparently, there's two versions, different web languages, AND too many retarded filtering, blocking, scanning, and blacklisting entities. His explanation of what's really going on online was eye opening for sure. My favorite part about the presentation was the fact that he's got all this wild and crazy information on what's happening all the time, but he didn't need flashy images or videos to explain it. He used a regular old bulleted outline from a regular old word processing application: text only. His personality, humor, and passion about the pertinent subject commanded everyone's full attention. I learned a lot and have an interest to learn even more about the internet, its flaws, muzzles, and potential.

swapneshwari

So I'm working on all kinds of things at the same time right now. More photographs, for both drawings and prints, shooting video, looking at lots of other artists, reading books about contemporary art, dreams, and memory, and getting ready for my first gallery E adventure.

I need to grow more arms... but a tripod and a boyfriend/assistant come in handy :)

For my next video idea, I'm grabbing all kinds of footage, from me painting objects black, to outside environments, to strange actions. I'm planning on using Final Cut to make the video as surreal as (if not more than) my current drawings. I want to implement a split screen, so it works like a diptych, with the figures and objects sometimes interacting with each other. Playing with different scales of the environment versus the figure/objects is important. I'm having so much fun with all three classes, because they each spark different ideas and ways of handling all the imagery I'm collecting. Of course in video, I have the choice of working with moving images as well as still ones. In drawing, I have the freedom to manipulate all kinds of images together, and in photography, I'm setting up specific shots that are intended to carry their own weight. Sometimes, though, the lines between all the mediums get blurry and images cross over. I'm not thinking thats a bad thing at all... more like I'm building up my language and experimenting with which are the best sentence structures for it.

I get into Tracey Emin's art a great deal, and I even sometimes compare my work to hers in that its very personal, but way more subtle by contrast. My photo teacher, Libby told me that my work is eons away from Emin's, but then I showed my videos from last semester's digital tools class to her in the company of my photography class. They were blown away from the intensity of the videos. They were actually pretty intense to me too, as one of them is very confessional and I hadn't seen them in so long... Libby was saying that my work now could be pushed that far, although I've been embracing a subtlety. So I feel like I want to push the subtlety as far as I can. Through the surreal quality, and intermingling of particular objects, of course. In my photo critique, I put forth lots of images; even the ones I intended to just be for drawing references. I was extremely relieved that the class thinks I'm going in the right direction with the photos, and that they agreed that my photography skills hold up on their own. :)

Now onto LOTS TO DO!! Gotta get way more video footage, start a drawing, finish two, revamp my artist statement, build shelves for my drawings, and put together my advancement 'show.' (YIPE!!)

running and running....

I feel like I'm constantly running to catch up in all my classes, going from one to the other reprioritizing deadlines. In the midst of all that, of course, is life, (and a week long application for a scholarship for the Berlin class.) In terms of my under-construction website, I am concerned about its navigability, simplicity, and professional appeal. I will continue working on it throughout the semester and see if I can get more opinions on it as well. I was thinking I wanted to make a pricelist page for selling potential, but I haven't quite decided yet. Also I intend to add my bio, links to my favorite artists websites, and an updated cv/resume. As for the rest of digital class, I hope to put together a new video, maybe to be projected onto a drawing of mine. Its also a goal of mine to try using Final Cut this time, instead of imovie.

The rest of the semester is about to get crazier as a whole, however, because I reserved (for the first time) Gallery E for myself in mid November. I'll have my drawing critique in there, and I'm scheduling my advancement for that time as well. Maybe my other two classes can come critique it too. I have some ideas for what I'm going to do (hopefully that video idea will come together by then,) but a LOT of things I still need to work out.

In photo class, Libby had wanted me to learn to take better photos to refer to for my drawings, but I have definitely divided all my photos into two groups: for drawings, and specifically for photo. The ones I'm drawing from I leave objects in their original state, and the ones for photo, I'm painting the objects black before shooting them in a dark environment. A MAJOR issue I was having is now over, thanks to my mom. She's staying in town and graciously let me confiscate her canon digital camera for the rest of the semester! I was having to borrow one from school, and the rotation of the reservations for them is so inconsistent. Whew! Enough of that!! Now I can just shoot away!

My drawings have gotten stranger still in imagery, but my problems to solve are without a doubt lighting, how to display them, and surface quality. Not to mention the fact that they need finishing as well. The ones of late are all 4' by 4' but I attempted a smaller one, an 8.5" by 8.5" to see if the smaller scale could make them more intimate. It may work, but there has to be more than one to be able to compete with the larger ones.

For having three studio classes, I've been overwhelmed with how much writing I've had to keep up with. Proposals for each class's work, the blogs, the comments, emails, artist statements, an article about inspiration (which has been tough for me, being that I'm working so intuitively,) and a virtual exhibition with a curatorial statement. Oh yeah, plus the scholarship application short answers and essay. Its been amazing. I love writing, so I'm not upset about it all, just slightly surprised, and like I said, a bit overwhelmed!

Well, I better get back to running to keep on keeping on! I really do appreciate everyone's patience with me, I know I'm not the only one of us thats busy... I look forward to seeing everyone in class on Wednesday!!

p.s. sometime in the near future, I'm going to set up a questionnaire on the class blog for everyone, I hope you'll participate!!

for ivan

Myra, Marcus Harvey, 1995
Acrylic on canvas, 156"x126"

Basically, its a HUGE portrait of Myra Hindley (more specifically her arrest photo), who is famous for assisting Ian Brady in a series of child molestation/murders. Her image is composed of tiny black, white, and grey handprints (Harvey took a mould of a 4 year old's hand, and used the plaster prosthetic though,) which enraged plenty of people, before, after, and when it showed at Sensation: Young British Artists from the Saatchi Collection at the Royal Academy of Arts in 1997.

for sojourn

Medusa, William Kentridge, 2001
Anamorphic lithograph on chine colle, printed on
6 different pages from the 1906 French Larousse Encyclopedia


Key to the Laboratory of Doubt, Carsten Holler, 2006
Anamorphic key cast in sterling silver

beauty vs. anti-beauty

While reading Chapter 1 of Digital Art by Christiane Paul, I was intrigued by Nancy Burson's Beauty Composites: First and Second because there have been many interpretations throughout art history of ultimate beauty (or the lack thereof.) Specifically, female beauty. In Burson's interpretation, she digitally combines images of film stars Bette Davis, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelley, Sophia Loren, and Marilyn Monroe for the first composite, and Jane Fonda, Jacqueline Bisset, Diane Keaton, Brooke Shields, and Meryl, Streep for the second. The composites mesh cultural icons of beauty to speak about historic trends in attractiveness, while simultaneously diluting the individuality of each star.



Immediately, the French artist Orlan came to my mind. She literally made herself into a composite of art historic beauty via plastic surgery. She documented the surgeries as performance pieces into videos and photographs during the early 90's. Using pieces of specifically male artists' portrayals of female beauty, including the chin of Botticelli’s Venus, the nose of Jean-Léon Gérôme's Psyche, the lips of François Boucher’s Europa, the eyes of Diana (as depicted in a sixteenth-century French School of Fontainebleu painting), and the forehead of Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, Orlan has transformed her own face into something of questionable beauty rather than ideal beauty.







Vanessa Beecroft's version of beauty is not a composite per se, rather a performance of beauty. Her pieces include a room full of "ideally" thin women, usually nude, all wearing the same chosen garment (boots, wigs, or stockings.) There is a strong reference to the fashion industry in Beecroft's works, and the fashion industry has a strong influence on the cultural "goal" of ultimate beauty. They are all beautiful, together though, they loose their individuality, which Beecroft exaggerates in the 2001 piece I chose VB 47(VB 47.378.DR) from the Peggy Guggenheim. The women become just bodies, a collection of objects of beauty, without faces. Contrasting the previous two pieces, the viewer can only imagine how beautiful the individual faces are.


Finally, I travel back in time to the "origin" of ideal beauty, or at least the question of it. Da Vinci's Mona Lisa is the most obvious composite I could mention. She is the most famous image of intriguing and mysterious beauty. There is debate about where her image came from though, it has been said over time to have come from the artist's idea of the most beautiful woman, more recently as from a sitter, Lisa del Giocondo, and it is also argued that Da Vinci used his own image in the painting. All of these ideas could be true, at the same time forming a composite of legend, beauty between genders, and a sense of anonymity.

The well known saying is that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Which leads us to understand there is no perfect universal beauty, only infinite attempts to achieve it and subsequent interpretations of it. It seems though, that every time ultimate beauty's epitome is attempted, it is simultaneously undone.

hello, fall..

summer was great, an independent study with greg, and grad studio seminar with binks. the highlight was definitely getting binked. it made me a little heated, but it happened 10 years ago, and ...eh... whats the big deal? im in school. the worst is i just have a couple drawings to mend. in any case, i did get alot of drawings done, some new and even more random ideas out. all black on black. <3 (which im absolutely in love with!!!!!) im still definitely working completely intuitively (which is incredibly liberating and fascinating because i feel like im watching someone else make my art...) and so this semester im taking photo with libby, drawing with connie, and this digital media class with leslie again. i had so much fun in the spring with the videos, i want to make another one or two. i also hope to completely overhaul my website. i have new, vastly different work from before, and i want to add this blog, as well as the online exhibition i made last semester (but add to it), and other links. my other problem with my current website is that its hosted by yahoo, and the web builder software doesnt download to macs, and of course i have a mac, so thats why the website is so outdated. i want to switch over to one that will download to mac, or maybe use weebly (i want to compare my options first).
i feel digital media is crazy important for art in so many ways, from commercial and communicating aspects, to expressive and creative aspects. as more and more means of interaction are digital, why shouldnt art be? "traditional art" has its place, but experiments are always in the works, and help keep the contemporary art scene in sync with reality. nothing is one thing anymore, instead, its a jumble of mediums and interpretations. synonymously, i want to experiment with combining my drawings with video this semester..
as for a synopsis of my latest work, it went from some (vaguely) narrative images of a figure in a bathtub, to some images of fabric floating in water, to some more metaphorical imagery. for example, the last 2 drawings: one is of water falling out of a mouth onto a wooden chair outdoors, and the other is of a curtain, with red wine-filled eggshells floating in water behind. because they are black charcoal drawings on black gessoed panels, they are very ambiguous and uncertain.
honestly, i have only a slight, vague idea of what i want to do this semester, but im beginning to trust what happens when i surrender to myself. i was thinking about ideas too hard before. things came out so literal. more and more, i was finding, the pieces that i had thought about the least were the most successful. now i just let it come out. any idea i might have that lingers in my head a little, ill go with. the explanations come later. its fun watching my subconscious make itself known. i definitely (for whatever reason) am still absolutely in love with water, and will be using variations of it in my work for awhile, i feel.
in other news, i moved into an adorable old house to rent with my incredibly loving boyfriend, whom has helped me turn my life around from the misery im still amazed i endured. however, i feel kinda mildly chaotic because the house is still in disarray, but itll all get put together and settled soon enough.. :) i am gratefully happy.
in conclusion, im SO excited about this semester and cant wait to see what manifests itself through my art next!!

intense recap

well, this semester has hosted a huge transformation for me. from being trapped in a horrible relationship to finally getting out and happily falling into a healthy one. from making work that had to do solely with advertisements to leaving them all behind and making work that involves the figure. i had to bite the bullet and get a job two thirds of the way through, only to take a bunch of time off to get through crits and reviews. it all happened so fast, i feel i should take the time to reiterate how ive grown and whos helped. first of all, i owe megan, gissett, and chris huge thanks for their honesty, support, and for pretty much holding my hand to help me not only conquer that relationship, but to put my foot down and stop the subsequent stalking. since then, ive started talking to a counselor here at school, and she and chris are helping me to regain my self value, to set boundaries for how people are allowed to treat me, and to learn how to tell people no. last semester, in critiques i was being questioned about my use of advertisements, and at my first semester review, i promised i would try new things in my work, from subject, to the medium. when the visiting artist from the intense concentration show (her name escapes me) came to my studio, she suggested that i just start all over with my work. from scratch. that is something hard to hear, but at that moment in my life where i was escaping a kind of prison, it was absolutely liberating. but where to start is scary. i started with the self portraits. having to do with drinking and being an enabler. but the message wasnt clear, they were more like cathartic drawings i had to do in order to cross some lines in my own head, beginning a journey. thats where the first video, 'goodbye' comes in. but as i had mentioned before, my ptg/drwg critique stated what i already knew: the drawings didnt say much, and who cares about my self portrait and who cares if i drink? the video, however, spoke more about what i wanted to say, without being literal. then after hearing that i dont need to draw nudes because they are simultaneously typical and loaded with art historical references i wasnt addressing, i kept going from my gut. then the other visiting artist, rosalyn schwartz came to my studio and somehow quickly linked all of my different kinds of work together and encouraged me to roll the walls in my studio black and play with it. paint objects black and make still lives or create environments. i had the idea to draw/paint black on black and mysteriously to me, begun to have the word brooding swim around in circles in my head. and for some reason, i wanted photos of myself (i am always a willing and available model) in the bathtub, but not nude. this photo shoot, i wound up drawing from, printing from, and making another video from. i gave into the torment and needed to read the definition for the word, even though i already generally knew what it meant. i was amazed:1. preoccupied with depressing, morbid, or painful memories or thoughts, and 2. cast in subdued light as to convey a somewhat threatening atmosphere. i mean, is that just perfect, or what? i also realized im having some kind of affinity for liquid. pouring and spilling especially. i feel it might be a metaphor for something, but im almost to what. the video i wanted to be about pouring and spilling different liquids over and over. but why? when i began editing, i decided to cut out all the pouring scenes i was in love with so much and wanted instead to build up the anticipation for it. the interjecting scenes are of fabric floating in the water (me in the bathtub) and the audio is the slow, repetitious sound of sharpening knives. end of semester critiques, as i wrote in the last blog, were positive and encouraging. i definitley want to keep my work ambiguous and open. ill be taking ptg/drwg in the summer, and in the upcoming semesters i will definitely be taking printmaking and digital media again. if a video class specifically is offered, ill be there, i feel like it is a medium that speaks for me in a way i didnt know it would. grad school is definitely an adventure within the grander adventure of Art and my life, and im open to everything. thank you everyone involved. ~vikky

crits and review

so i was so nervous for the review, and for no reason! somehow i made it through, despite all my obstacles, (having to get a job and my external hard drive failure) and am extremely happy with the results! good feedback, great questions, and encouragement came from each critique. and happlily, the work isnt literal, melodramatic, or (the dreaded) obvious. i think its because ive been working straight from my intuition and not overthinking anything. so when i told them that in the review, they asked why i made certain formal and compositional decisions to help me figure out where it is im going. but they didnt discuss the video i made, which in digital critique i showed a shorter version of. AND while i was trying to add to it to draw it out more and heighten the anticitpation, is where i ran into the biggest snag ever! my damn bookbag fell off a chair with my external hard drive in it accompanied by 2 cans of paint, leaving it a mess and inacessable. thats what i was building the movie on, so thats where all the clips and footage is. not to mention ALL my photos from the past 6 years or so of my life... >sigh< so but i couldnt worry about that. LUCKILY(!), i had burned the .dv file to the dvd instead of using iDVD, and thats what saved me! but of course i had to clean my computer out a bit (couple hours worth) before i could even attempt to start a new project and import that file and chop it back up, upload a bit more footage, and reedit the sound in audacity after downloading that program. needless to say, i was wound up tight in stress. but i made it :) im happy with the new version, which is now a minute longer and i showed it on a black fabric i hung in my studio along with my black drawings. it works well all together, i think, giving it the feel of a moving drawing. jennings liked the parallel of the black fabric as the backdrop and that black fabric is in the video as well. as for the drawings, i had also wanted to have black paintings, but didnt get that far quick enough. however, i decided to try a new surface instead of the crappy black paper i used already. i got some 4x8 sheets of hardboard (which involved my extremely helpful boyfriend and his truck) and applied a coat of black gesso to draw on. it is sweet. it really allows the rich, velvety blacks and the subtle variations in values to come through. next one, ill definitely use some sandpaper and another coat of the gesso though, for more richness and less evidence of the paintbrush strokes. for now, im working (last minute, of course) on prints for the printmaking crit on tuesday. unfortunately, i have to work 3 shifts this weekend to be able to make rent, so hopefully i can pull through!! and THEN ill worry about that how to get all my data off that hard drive....

narrowing it down

i thought the critique of my video 'goodbye' was awesome, it had some criticism, but i was mostly elated to hear that i had, for once, met in the middle of obvious and too vague, so i felt i was ready to work on my painting/drawing critique. but first, i had to stress out and paint for luminaria. i painted on two sheets of 3' x 4' plexi and dropped petals from my collection of dried roses from past relationships in between, sealing them in forever. in contrast to the artist i was showing with, yvette shadrock, whose piece was immaculately white and clean, my painting was dark and dirty, which i was completely happy with :) spring break then was a whirlwind of ideas... ive been working with nude portraits a great deal, and tried incorporating text with them to indicate a power struggle. i also drew a large self-portrait with the giant word 'lush' encompassing the all-together 8 smaller self-portraits from the shadows. but alas, in critique yesterday, i knew i was back to the obviousness im trying to get away from. the drawings are cathartic to me, but it was suggested that im adding to much information with the figure and the text together, so i will make attempts at them separately and see what happens. i thought i was creating layers, but too many, it seems, and the wrong kind, as i was also advised that the nudes arent necessary, they are often typical, expected, and reminiscent of figure drawing class. they also dont show faces, so they are non-confrontational, and more seductive rather than intense and uncomfortable. so i am back to the drawing board again (hahaha), but with more, hopefully clearer ideas, and without loaded, literal, or melodramatic results. As for leslie's class, i would like to make another video and/or sound piece, but i havent quite got my idea yet. with a month before more critiques and the semester review, ive got to get it figured out now... however, ive been looking at more artists, and am inspired to keep trying new ideas and working through to what i want :)

midterm madness!!!

i am feverishly working on editing my video, and have realized two things: that i have way too much footage, and that it isnt lit very well. so i have reshot video, and simplified the whole thing a great deal. my goal is to have it down to approximately 3 mins as opposed to the previous 30... my other main concern is that it might be too literal or obvious, which is a recurring issue in alot of my work. so i hope to remedy the problem by chopping clips up more, rearranging them in not such a linear or narrative fashion, and by omitting some parts all together. in my other work, im focusing on juxtaposing images to suggest ideas other than what you can literally see, and so i hope to accomplish the same in this video. in the meantime, im stressing out about my piece for luminaria. i hope i can get that successfully done by friday! its a painting layered on two sheets of plexiglas that are mounted together. its fairly large, and i dont have much more time, so i have to keep it simple as well.... printmaking crit last week was good, and i have many new ideas for prints :) painting/drawing crits have started, luckily mine is after spring break so i can get my head together and work on my drawings! my stalker situation has ceased to exist, and so i have much more freedom to think and focus now, the only thing in my way now is that some of my work is addressing how much i drink, and i drink when im making it.... so as a result im not at my studio too much, and i sometimes end up trashed and not getting things done as fast as i had planned. i definitely need to cut that out asap if im going to make it through grad school. (!!!) even though my mind is in a MUCH better place and im taking way better care of myself, (save the bottles and bottles of wine....) i find my work is very much revolving around that time in my life. maybe thats why im still drinking, (even though it is substantially less....) i feel like this work will help me deal with it all so i can let it go. and as a bonus, maybe it will speak to other people too. SO much to do!!! cheers!! (just kidding!! :)

slowly but more surely...

im doing some extremely important things lately, but i feel like my feet are dragging a little in terms of my new art. i know its because my life is in the way. i was having a hard time realizing the fact that my ex is now harassing/stalking me, but i went to get help, and it all clicked. since then ive talked to campus police, sapd (i filed a harassment report), and some of the faculty about the situation. im also trying to not be alone too often case he shows up. he's extremely manipulative and persistant, but im proud to say that im coming out of this on top. :) i have an awesome support system in my friends, family, and fellow students that im eternally grateful for, so i know i wont falter anymore. ive been liberated from the frustration of being confused and im excited about focusing in on my work. (which i know is the point of this blog, not really therapy,) so on that note, i have been uploading video clips ive been taking and am anxious to learn some editing techniques. ive also been thinking about the online exhibition project and need to narrow down ideas, and collect some more info. Im slacking in my drawing and printmaking classes a bit, so i really need to kick my own ass and get to work!! there's so many shows coming up!!

semester 2!!

i borrowed a video cam from school and have been workin on a video piece all weekend! im having the slightest problem uploading the film to my computer, but ill figure it out. im excited about editing it already... also im looking forward to doing 1 or 2 sound pieces, as i love sound art. hills snyder and luz maria sanchez were a huge inspiration for that. my pieces are going to be about raw emotion, deceit, relationships, and how bad they are. eh, im in a messed up time in my life, but luckily, i try to make art. :) im thinking this might be my most difficult and my experimental semester. i mean, it could always get worse, no doubt, but i have to start all over in terms of my work, i have to say goodbye to and abandon my advertisements, i have to get away and stay away from a horribly draining person i was with for 3 yrs (which isnt easy, he holds the record for calling 125 (!!!) times in a row in a single afternoon... literally.), not to mention how Lost i feel and hence, how much im drinking. so, despite my setbacks, i hope to experiment a whole lot and and make some art that is at least necessarily cathartic if nothing else :) bear with me guys.... and ill take all the comments and ideas you have to offer!! thanks! ~vikky